Lost One's Weeping
by pariloo
Summary: Kaneki Ken is raised by his elder sister, Rize. She sends him to Anteiku to spend his summer with a close relative while she's busy with her "work." A week later, the purple-haired girl appears on the news dead. Kaneki is faced with finding who exactly murdered his beloved sister, all the while trying to unravel secrets about himself. AU where Kaneki is born a one-eyed ghoul.
1. Tragedy

"Onee-chan! Look!"

Upon hearing her nickname emerge from the vocals of a small boy, Rize can't help but gander down at the six-year-old clutching her pinky in a little fist. The suddenly excited child points a small index finger towards a building. It's a neatly bricked structure with little tables scattered on the outside. A welcome sign is sat in front of the entrance, giving the place a friendly look to it.

"That's the coffee place!"

There's a perceptible natural movement of warm air that breezes his cobalt hood rearwards and sends it flapping on his back, the profile of the stripling unveiled; a young face with muted lips upturned in a buoyant smile, escorted by a medical patch crossed over one eye.

Rize let out a pent-up sigh at her little brother's excitement. "Ken-kun, it's too hot for that sort of drink."

The little Kaneki nods, a fragile palm lifting the flap of a little satchel slung across his shoulder. It disappears into the brown leather pocket for a moment before rescinding with a geometrical object in hand.

"I don't want a drink, Onee-chan. I want to read my new book there! I brought it just in case!"

The lavender-haired girl purses her coral lips. She had told Kaneki before they left that this was only a small walk throughout the park to get some fresh air. They were currently on their home, and luckily the little boy hadn't asked to go into the coffee shop like always. Until now. It was as if something drew him to the building.

Yet, the young woman couldn't say no to him. She, too, enjoyed reading. And anyways, it was about time to tell him the news.

"We'll go in, but only for a bit."

* * *

><p>A golden bell rings twice once the red door to the café opens, motioning that a new customer had arrived. Rize appears tugging the little boy inside with her, and he's suddenly grown quite shy to the abundance of people sitting in the booths around. A rush of cool oxygen from the AC greets them with their first steps into the fancily decorated bistro.<p>

The welcoming scent of vanilla and coffee wafts through the air, immediately calling Kaneki's small legs to come take a rest. A metallic table reflects sunlight from the window onto it's silver surface, almost blinding the kid for a second. He sits into a chair with a light grunt, Rize sitting in the vacant seat opposite. The sun has heated the blue stool and it feels comforting.

It almost feels as if the little Kaneki was surrounded by mountains of plastic and paper bags which held the contents of guilt ridden peoples' shopping; not really surrounded, but there were quite a few on a lot of people's tables.

Then a waitress appears. She teeters over in a mini skirt and a top that leaves nothing to the imagination. Her heels are so impractical for someone who will be on their feet all day, but she knows they make her legs look nice.

Rize takes solace in the fact that this clown of a girl's feet will be aching later, trying to hide the frown upon her face at the woman's appearance. The lady pulls a pencil from behind her ear and goes through the routine questions she asks every customer that visits the café.

While such goes on, Kaneki watches out the window as birds swoop in from every direction and onto the pavement, hoping for a stray crumb to feast on. The sidewalk is covered with squabbling, pecking pigeons. They fight over the smallest speck of what may, or may not even be food. Children run at them, squealing with pleasure as they scramble off into the air, leaving their treasure behind.

The noise from the traffic on the other side of the glass invades his thoughts. Lorries making deliveries, clattering and banging as the drivers empty their cargo without a care. The streets of Tokyo seem to be getting busier by the minute. The café in comparison seems calm.

The two patiently sit and wait for their orders, even if the adolescent had told his sister earlier that he didn't want anything. They spend their time in silence, wavering in and out of conversation between patrons.

Guess Rize-san changed her mind about not requesting anything, because the waitress comes back with a tray in hand; a coffee is set in front of Rize while a dixie cup filled to the brim of whipped cream clinks before Kaneki.

The boy ignores the fluff filled paper cup in front of him, opening the book and setting it on the table. He flips through the pages aimlessly. Really, he liked spending this time with his sister. Olive eyes glancing up to the purple-haired girl, he finds her looking out the window. She hasn't touched her hot beverage, the steam curling from a hole in the lid.

Rize feels the curious eyes staring at her and turns to connect gazes.

The boy's breath catches in his throat at being caught staring. He bashfully bows his head in a feeble attempt to pretend he was reading the set of kanji before him. His bijou tennis shoes wave in the air below the table nervously.

"Kaneki-kun."

He quickly lifts his chin up towards her. She's leaning against the coffee table now, chin propped thoughtfully in her hand. A smile of tranquility is upon her features; it was obvious that Rize was as fond of this place as much as him.

"Uh!" The artificial half-ghoul replies enthusiastically, obviously glad that his sister hadn't brought up his staring.

"You like this place, right?"

The eye-patched boy nods.

"How would you like to stay here for the summer?" Rize looks to the pale being, questioning.

The inquiry sends the young boy's heart racing with adrenaline, renewed vigor sending a bright smile revving on his countenance. "Really?!"

"Mhmm. I'm going to be busy with some work, you're going to be staying here with a close relative. He owns the shop, even. Very nice man. His name's Yoshimura. You're going to have a lot of fun over the summer."

Kaneki could barely contain himself. He jumps up from his seat, the book clattering to the floor noisily. He waddles over to Rize, throwing his arms around her in a happy embrace.

"Thank you, Onee-chan! I can hardly wait!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>(13 years later)<strong>_

Kaneki's jaw clenched and he forced his attention back to the sheet of letters before him. He picked up the yellow stick of graphite, clutching it.

_World history._

_Write._

_Don't think._

_Don't._

_Don't you dare, Kaneki Ken._

The pencil blundered and he bit his lip, forcibly drawing the eraser over the page and swiping the thin strips of pink off of the paper with the cuff of his jacket.

Jeez.

For the past thirteen years his mind had trailed back to the start. Sitting in the chairs of Anteiku with Rize, watching the birds through crystalline glass and sipping from paper cups.

He vaguely remembers sitting on the couch with his knees drawn to his chest, sobbing into his pants. Yoshimura had stood behind him, a hand on the trembling boy's shoulder.

The words still echo in his brain.

_A ghoul's body had been found in the 11th ward this morning by the CCG at approximately 7:02 AM. The victim was a slender girl with long lavender hair and an hourglass figure. As a ghoul blending into human society, she wears a normal attire fit for a young woman. We'll update on the matter later. Stay safe._

Kaneki hated her for leaving him here alone. He hated being alone.

Especially with all the secrets he were discovering every day.

The only things that remained left to uncover was the murder of Rize-san and hidden secrets of himself.

_Was he a monster?_

_How was he different from other people?_

_Was what he ate as a child not what other people did?  
><em>

_The constant things he were uncovering each day made him flinch, unable to sleep._

_Plagued his dreams._

**_"Whoever killed Rize, Kaneki, may come for you. Be prepared."_  
><strong>

_Yoshimura had enlighted the boy of such, what, how many years ago?_

_And they bothered the underdog corners of his brain like an itch wanting to be scratched.  
><em>

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Why him?_


	2. Reminders

A girl with the color hair that was seemingly the intermediate shade between red and blue set the blender in its slot and pressed the button for crushing ice angrily. The constricting coffee scent around them was almost palpable with her irritation, the bangs that covered the purple eye swinging as she swiveled her body to stare the artificial half-ghoul in the face.

"Stop bringing her up. It's obnoxious!"

Her eye is convulsing in aggravation, glaring strikingly at the lean dark-haired boy with the preference of wearing those plaid vests. She'd known him since she arrived at Anteiku, and even then Kaneki thought she's never looked this irritated.

Kaneki couldn't help but pounce back a bit with reverberation, greyish-green olive eyes wide with shock. What was she talking about..? He'd just asked her if Hinami and him could go to the library together to get a new book.

"Touka-chan?.."

Touka revolves back around to the noisy contraption, jamming the button mercilessly for it to stop. She removes the full blender from its place and begins making a frappe for an awaiting customer. Her voice is thunderous with a hint of hidden jealousy, resulting in purloining some attention from nearby patrons. Looks like they had some sort of audience.

"Rize or whatever. You wouldn't stop muttering the damn name! I'm not ready for vexatious things like that this early. Who is that, anyway?"

Kaneki freezed, paling. His mouth opened to say something, forming around a failed reply. Nothing. He promptly looked away, bemused. He didn't understand, as if his brain short-circuited and needed to be rebooted. He'd been muttering that...?

The half-ghoul pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes until he saw nothing but sparkles, one hand falling onto the table limply. Touka catches his fingers twitching out of the corner of her eye and swivels her hips to give him a questioning glance. "Kaneki?"

He reflected on his mortal life, knowing that it would all be gone soon. Ever since he found out he was a ghoul.. He was born that way. And his sister, his damn _sister_ didn't even tell him!

He never understood as a child why he had to wear hoodies all the time, an eye patch, dare not eat in public. They never stopped at those cool restaurants Hide suggested and the boy never knew why. Until Yoshimura admitted the fact to him at age seven.

_**"Kaneki, you are not like the other kids. You don't eat what they do. You eat them. We must, Kaneki. We are ghouls. We kill to live."** _

He remembers the old man's words, how he didn't want to believe it. He couldn't understand. Of course, how could he have? Someone telling you that your sister including yourself were ghouls. Monsters. Oh, yeah, to make things better, everyone at this coffee shop is a ghoul! Don't worry though, they digest only human flesh, just like you!

His pulse augments, thrumming in his veins, burning. His head began to pound.

_Rize.. Why did you leave me all alone? I missed you.. I hate being alone...  
><em>

Overcome by a sudden flood of emotion, he somehow tunes out his hearing in a way. The only thing his eardrums could make out was a haunting ringing and all the phantom thoughts jogging through his head. The blank, emotionless expression swept over his face as the realization of the moment gradually seeped in.

The unforeseen emptiness seemed to rise behind his eyes, carving him into a hollow shell. Like a caged animal, he sat there, twitching uncontrollably. Paralyzed by the tragic feeling of isolation, he slammed his eyes shut and gazed into fields of nothingness. He gently whispered to himself, "Rize-san.."

Suddenly a mirage of memories come out of the floodgates. Some black and white, others the colors of crushed flowers. He's hidden all the hurt of his family's sudden death so well; until now. He hunches over slightly, possessing a sense of loss so powerful that his mind couldn't cooperate. A tightening of his throat and short intake of breath forecast the explosion of emotion about to make an appearance.

The image of a future shared with a loving sister not to come was too strapping to be kept in check; the tearing at his heart was too compelling and energetic to be accommodated. The vision Kaneki had began to swim in front of him as his eyes filled with hot tears. The water seeps out of his eyes.

In that moment, all the pent-up hysteria and dread of loss was let loose in a paroxysm of choking and sobbing, so solid in it's intensity that it physically disturbed his shoulders in hefty tremors.

A various number of heads turn and goggle muddled at the weeping dark-haired boy, leaving Touka wide-eyed and frozen in place. She stops making the cold drink, the blender full of beige liquid slamming onto the counter. It was obvious that she's hit a nerve. A big one.

In fact, no one's seen Kaneki like this. He's always looked so happy, a beatific vibe seeping from his pores whenever everyone was around. No one, not even Touka thought that he could be in pain, too. His entire family was dead, after all.

A large wave of guilt sweeps over the blue-haired girl and she has to dig her heels into the tiles to keep from moving with its tide. Kaneki, the shyest boy she's known, was now crying in a café full of people. He was sobbing so hard that he couldn't even excuse himself, and from the looks of it, Kaneki was embarrassed.

And it was all because of her.

She had made made the only person at Anteiku with the personality resembling warm hot chocolate and marshmallows on a cold day cry. The person who is sincerely interested in what you are doing and what you have to say, a person who makes time for friends, who puts others first all the time. She could always feel his warmth when she were alone with Kaneki. Heck, he always made people feel welcome and wanted, and never once complained about his life while she herself whined about everything.

And all Touka could do was stand there and watch.

All of a sudden Nishiki pelts through the room from the door in the corner of the room reserved for only the workers, glaring at the girl as he makes his way to Kaneki. He spits at her angrily, "What the hell are you doing, woman? He's having a damn panic attack! Everyone could hear it from the back room."

Hinami, peeks her head out of the threshold of the doorway. There should never be such a harsh look of worry and displeasure on a young child's face.

And yet she _still _stands there. Everyone's looking now.

Nishiki grabs Kaneki by the shoulder, pulling on it.

"Oi, Kaneki, can you hear me? Let's go."

Kaneki doesn't respond. It only gets worse, really. He's taking in constant long abundances of deep thrashing breathes, inconsolably wracked with the pain of unanswered dreams and painful times. He's hyperventilating.

"God damn it, he's going to pass out if he keeps this up!" The orange-haired male's chin raises to Touka, blaring with indignation. "Don't just stand there!"

And then the black-haired boy stops. His crying silents to small whimpers, breathes melting into sighs of exhaustion. Then he pushes himself back from the table, standing to his feet wobbly. Ignoring Nishiki and Touka who were looking at him in shock, he swipes at his eyes with the back of his hand and runs out of the shop.


End file.
